Hello humans, Sugar here. Yes, the Sugar, professional napper, food critic, and master of ignoring orders. For years, I ruled a Bangkok apartment. Life was simple: air-con always on, food magically appeared in my bowl, and the only rats I ever saw were on YouTube.
But now… my humans have lost their minds. They’re dragging me to a place called Chumphon Buri. From what I overheard, it’s full of fish ponds, frogs, snakes, and creatures with teeth bigger than my entire body. They call it “nature.” I call it “danger.”
At first, I thought: “Great, I’ll finally get to chase real birds and maybe catch one.” But then I remembered, I’m a city cat. The most exercise I’ve had was sprinting to the fridge when the tuna can opened. Out there? One wrong step and I’m breakfast for wild dogs.
So what did my humans do? They bought me a catio. Yes, a rolling steel cage. My own mobile prison. They say it’s for my safety, but let’s be honest: it’s so they don’t have to rescue me when I get stuck in a tree or try to fight a monitor lizard.
But here’s the twist: I actually kind of like it. From inside my catio, I can supervise everything. The humans build the house, I judge them. The frogs croak, I glare at them. The dogs bark, and I hiss, safely behind bars. I am untouchable.
In Bangkok, I was just a spoiled house cat. In Chumphon Buri, I’ll be known as The Catio Commander. Rolling fortress, full view of my kingdom, snacks on demand. Honestly? I think I just leveled up.
Now excuse me while I take my seventh nap of the day. Royal duties can wait.
— Sugar 🐾
Boom & Eric
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